Air

I get a little down on myself
But when you come around
My whole world feels new


Ok. So that isn't some deep, meaningful quote from literature, but just some catchy lyrics of a song. But as I was listening to this song and thinking about Crime and Punishment (cause that's what I do...sit and contemplate Russian literature) I realized the whole idea of a "new world" was brought up a lot in C&P, especially towards the end. Raskolinkov ponders it a bit in the beginning, when he starts to break out of his isolation and interact with society again: "After a whole month of concentrated melancholy and gloomy excitement, he was so weary he wanted to take breath in some other world, no matter what kind, and even if only for a moment. In spite of all the dirt around him, it was actually with pleasure he lingered in the saloon." A new world, new air to breathe -- a change.

And when the effect of his crime, the anxiety, the illness, starts to weigh on him, Raskolinkov is tempted to just run. More than once, he is tempted by the prospect of "air". "Every man needs air, air, air! . . . More than anything!"

Now, I know that's not really a major theme of the book, but I couldn't help noticing the recurrence. Especially since I know the feeling, with all the stress of everything and just being tired, I wanted something new. A change, fresh air. It seemed the perfect way to escape. Which is what Raskolinkov wanted; to escape and run away from his concience, the people who wouldn't let him forget, his life...everything.

At least, that's what I was thinking when I was reading.
--mr